When Rules Rule Out Personal Judgment

I'm suspended...arrggghh!

I got my memo for 10-days suspension, yes 10 days. Wow, I can surely take my time to rest. Really, sounds like I can have fun? Gotta chill out, yea, and guess what, the next time would be termination. Yeah, no kidding.

I’ve already spent almost four years here and we have this early retirement benefit that once you reach the 5th year of tenure, you will be qualified for an early retirement bonus which is equivalent to (50% of your current pay) x (the number of years). It adds another 10% after another year until you reach the 10th year wherein you would be eligible for a 100% of your salary multiplied by the number of years of service. Sound like great offer to me but I felt like my chances are running out. It's all because of attendance issues.

It's a long story. Got problems before and I asked for leeway, for time and understanding (drama) just so I could keep up. I got no clear response. I need to move out and find a new place where I am comfortable, and possibly nearer. I finally found one. It's not comfortable but maybe 200-250 steps away from my work building. So I told myself, this would work out for now, I have to sacrifice. It was one on my list for personal kaizen, to be early for work. So, one down, few more on the list. I was successful there, but what happened.

Time passed and I never thought my rope would end up like few threads to hang on to. I eventually got memo for those previous lates. It was so ironic. It's when I had my chance already to show them I could keep up, I received a memo. It's too late. Guess what, on the last memo there was written something like (not exactly the same sentence but sounds the same) "failure to improve or correct your behavior or repetition maybe would result to next higher penalty or up to termination". I am thinking, I thought I've shown progress but it's just ridiculous that it was never based there. It was based on those old succeeding days that I wasn't showing up early. There wasn't really a chance for me. This has caused me anxiety, building up stress and some sleepless nights.

This job really costs me so much but as much as I want to retire from the company, I don’t have the nerve to push myself because I’ve already invested almost four years here. I have already invested my years in the company and tried to be good but it seems like they don’t care. I did not even receive any raise. No bonuses either, except for the mandated 13th month. I felt betrayed to the fact that in the beginning, during the first orientation we had, we were told that we can stay in the same position that we have currently or go for the next level. Either way our salary would be increased yearly anyway.

Anyway, I’m just posting my angst, forgive me. I noticed my post is getting longer so I had to stop, you can guess how frustrated I am now perhaps. This is basically one thing why blogging works for me. You can express yourself and put out your flame without picking on anyone.

Thanks for your time reading and make sure to be early for work. Enjoy your weekend and God Bless!


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